deciding to not decide

i dont know to ring you all not, i just returned from the south, from cornwall. i read your blogs i dont not read them , i do but i think to comment or to ring you is to make it worst. i think you just need the days to pass so you can think less often and kindly of me. i wish i could make it better, pretty pointless thing to say i know. infact me talking here is probably pointless because you wont read and it and really if you did what do i expect you to think.
i just i think you need to know i was sincere i mean i wasnt leading you on being a false friend.
im not just saying it either so you wont think badly of me, i mean you should because i was an awful friend an awful girlfriend only not on purpose if that makes it any better.
i always wondered how you knew when to stop talking on your blog, when youd said your piece whento stop with the words. i seem to have endless words only not the wonderful skill of stringing them together, curious. part of me thinks to stop writing for a while maybe a good thing, to not have to think of anything, but then what if it all stays inside and mounts up to some enormous well mountain of anxious confused poison, says she chief of giving advice! i know i know now is probably the time to pause for breath and stop with the drama
we do listento the same song, i am out here nad you are there listening to the same song, sorry im like a record same old same old.