and on this day it all went pearshaped

i like my appearence and i like my dancing. last night truly the most beautiful dancer i have ever watched, his spins were poetry so elegant and graceful , told me i didn't dance right and today the unthinkable, i was told i am wide. i accepted nurses ankles because im not sure what they are and given it wasnt said very pleasantly i didnt ask, but wide?
my beauty school uniform is black, i look like death, i havent decided what to make of the shoulder pads ive never experienced anything so pouffy. i liked the skirt i thought it was nifty but apparently it doesnt look good. we got all our beauty kits and i wasnt sure what half of it was, ive never heard of a hoof stick and have never found myself needing six different nail treatments. it all seems so pointless. i think i regret beauty school. im not sure i really wanted to go, want to go, how can you be a beauty therapist if youre wide, but then i dont fancy not eating. i wonder if doctors hadnt put a name on anorexia and it hadnt been publicised like on the internet if there would really be as many as there are? it wouldnt really occur to me and i cant be the only one. one of the ladies on the course told me she used to be like me, she guessed my size most flatteringly which suggests that miss size 6-8 doesnt know absolutely everything. only then the lady said she had cancer and put on three stones and i didnt know what to say. having cancer is worse that being called wide, well having my skirt called wide anyway. it seems silly putting the two in the same sentence. i did something about it i figured crying wasnt productive, well not the ladys cancer as much as i often wish i could be a jesus type and spread the healing, bellydancers arent wide so i signed up for a classes.
dancing last night was such jolly fun, up until said moment, they played sashes ecuador what a tune to salsa to. guy and girl dancing soo oldy worldy so wonderfully well romantic.. sigh... i miss you